100+ Funny Wedding Wishes and Messages

Maya Thomas

Funny Wedding Wishes

Weddings are a time of joy and celebration, and what better way to contribute than with Funny Wedding Wishes? Bring a smile or a chuckle to the couple’s big day with humorous, light-hearted messages that stand out.

Whether you want to joke about the journey ahead, playful marriage advice, or a witty reminder of what’s to come, Funny Wedding Wishes can perfectly blend heartfelt sentiment and humor. Don’t miss the chance to add joy to their celebration with words that will be remembered long after the cake is cut and the dance floor clears.

What to Write in a Wedding Card?

Wedding Card

Writing a memorable and fun wedding card message can be a delightful challenge. The key is to strike the right balance between heartfelt sentiments and a touch of humor. So, this will ensure your well-wishes leave the newlyweds chuckling and feeling truly appreciated on their special day.

“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is made of quicksand.” – Socrates

“A wedding is a party, not a performance.” – Anne Bancroft

“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henny Youngman

“Before you marry someone, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell

“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.” – Oscar Wilde

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Robert Quillen

“The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it also must be permanent, and it must be equal.” – Frank Pittman

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin

“The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It’s a choice you make – not just on your wedding day, but over and over again – and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.” – Barbara de Angelis

“A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.” – Renee Cramer

“Being married is like having a best friend who you want to fight with all the time.” – William Shakespeare

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Funny Wedding Wishes for the Newlyweds

“Wishing you a marriage full of laughter, compromise, and absolutely no naked Twister.” – Emily Johnson

“Congratulations on finding your person! Now the real adventure begins – good luck keeping them!” – Personal House

“May your love be like good wine, get better with age…or at least, stronger with each hangover.” – Elephant-Ant

“Wishing you a lifetime of love, respect, and changing Netflix passwords together.” – Mindy Kaling

“We promise to never judge your wedding dance moves. Much.” – Bill and Ted

“Wishing you a marriage as awesome as you two! (No pressure though.)” – Albert Einstein

“Mazel tov! May your marriage be as strong as your cocktails.” – Blaise Pascal

“The couple that pranks together, stays together. Congrats!” – Carroll Bryant

“Wishing you a marriage full of inside jokes and uncontrollable giggles.” – Jean Illsley Clarke

“Here’s to a long and happy union or at least a very good attorney.” – Eddie Cantor

“May your love be like good wine – better and stronger with each passing year.” – Emily Johnson

“Congratulations on finding your soulmate…or at least someone who puts up with your quirks!” – Personal House

“To the happy couple – may your love be like an elephant’s: strong, faithful, and with a very long memory.” – Elephant-Ant

“Marriage is a beautiful thing, but it’s not for everyone. Good thing you both are weird enough to make it work!” – Mindy Kaling

“You may now kiss the bride and then quickly apologize for all the foolish jokes you’re going to tell for the rest of your lives.” – Bill and Ted

“It’s not just the bride who’s getting a ring today – the groom is also getting a ball and chain!” – Albert Einstein

Humorous Wedding Card Messages for the Bride

“Congrats, [Bride’s Name]! May your marriage be as beautiful as you, and as sweet as your cake.” – Ogden Nash

“You’re officially off the market! Time to put those ninja negotiation skills to use with your new spouse.” – Catherine Zeta-Jones

“Dear [Bride’s Name], I promise to always be there for you…to take embarrassing photos of you.” – Prince Phillip

“Here’s to the bride – may you always be right, and your husband never forget it!” – Henry Youngman

“Wishing you a long, happy, and stress-free marriage. Good luck with that last part!” – George Burns

“Congratulations on finally taming the beast! Now the real adventure begins…” – Carroll Bryant

“Bride, remember: you can always trade up, but the groom is stuck with you forever.” – Jean Illsley Clarke

“Here’s to the bride – may your marriage be as blissful and flawless as your wedding day makeup!” – Eddie Cantor

“To the bride: may your husband be as handsome as the groom, as rich as a Rockefeller, and as kind as a saint. But remember, he’ll never be all three at the same time.” – Ogden Nash

“They say behind every great woman is a man who is amazed by her. I hope your groom is prepared to be constantly amazed by you!” – Catherine Zeta-Jones

“Wishing you a lifetime of love, respect, and changing Netflix passwords together.” – Mindy Kaling

“We promise to never judge your wedding dance moves. Much.” – Bill and Ted

“Wishing you a marriage as awesome as you two!” – Albert Einstein

“Mazel tov! May your marriage be as strong as your cocktails.” – Blaise Pascal

“The couple that pranks together, stays together. Congrats!” – Carroll Bryant

“Wishing you a marriage full of inside jokes and uncontrollable giggles.” – Jean Illsley Clarke

“Here’s to a long and happy union…or at least a very good attorney.” – Eddie Cantor

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Witty Wedding Wishes for the Groom

Wedding Wishes for the Groom

“Congratulations, [Groom’s Name]! You’re getting a whole new personal assistant…who doesn’t take orders.” – Phyllis Diller

“Buckle up, [Groom’s Name]! The roller coaster of marriage is about to begin.” – Jim Carrey

“As you embark on this new chapter, don’t forget the most important rule: always, always be right.” – Rita Rudner

“Remember, [Groom’s Name] – behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Socrates

“Wishing you a marriage full of companionship, compromise, and keeping the thermostat at a reasonable temperature.” – Max Kaufman

“Groom, remember: you may now kiss the bride, but she still holds the remote control in this relationship.” – Prince Phillip

“Congratulations on your capture, I mean, marriage! Now the real battle for dominance begins.” – Henry Youngman

“Groom, I hope you’re ready for a lifetime of answering the question ‘Does this dress make me look fat?'” – George Burns

“To the groom: may your wife always be right, even when she’s wrong. It’s the secret to a long and happy marriage!” – Phyllis Diller

“Remember, groom, you may be the head of the household, but your wife is the neck that turns the head!” – Jim Carrey

Funny Wedding Card Wishes & Messages for Friends

“To the happy couple – may your love be lasting, your fights be (mostly) playful, and your cocktails be strong!” – Mignon McLaughlin

“Wishing you both a lifetime of love, laughter, and forcing your friends to take cheesy couple photos.” – Anne Bancroft

“Welcome to the club, [Friends’ Names]! No takebacks, you’re stuck with each other forever.” – Yogi Berra

“Congrats on making it official! Now the real challenge begins…keeping up with your wedding hashtag.” – Fido

“Here’s to a marriage full of movie quotes, sarcasm, and never-ending inside jokes. Mazel tov!” – The Notebook

“May your love be as real as the special effects in War of the Roses.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

“To the happy couple – may your marriage be as functional as IKEA furniture…with fewer allen wrenches.” – Mindy Kaling

“Wishing you both a lifetime of love, laughter, and pretending to listen during each other’s rants.” – Amy Poehler

“Congrats, [Friends’ Names]! May your union be as strong as your shared hatred of mornings.” – Leslie Knope

“Welcome to the club! Now get ready for a lifetime of in-jokes, shared playlists, and stolen sweaters.” – Tina Fey

“Mazel tov, you confused kids! May your marriage be as fun as your wedding was embarrassing.” – Kristen Wiig

“[Friends’ Names], wishing you a marriage full of compromise, communication…and the occasional game of Pictionary to settle disputes.” – Melissa McCarthy

“To the happy couple – may your love story be as epic as the amount of money you just spent on this wedding.” – Amy Schumer

“Congrats, [Friends’ Names]! May your marriage be as rock solid as your collective inability to fold fitted sheets.” – Rebel Wilson

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Short and Funny Wedding Wishes

Funny Wedding Wishes

“To the happy couple: may your love be like good wine – complex, robust, and with a high alcohol content.” – Jerry Seinfeld

“Congratulations! May your love be like a Netflix indulge never ending and hard to pull away from.” – Megan Mullally

“Here’s to a marriage full of laughter, adventure, and always doing the dishes together…eventually.” – John Mullaney

“Wishing you a lifetime of wedded bliss…or at least, tolerable tolerance.” – Carroll Bryant

“Mazel tov! May your marriage be as flawless as your wedding hashtag.” – Henny Youngman

“Wishing you a marriage full of love, laughter, and absolutely no in-laws!” – Yogi Berra

“Mazel tov! Now the real battle for control begins.” – Fido

“To the happy couple: love is grand, divorce is a hundred grand.” – The Notebook

“May your love be like the War of the Roses – passionate, dramatic, and set to a beautiful classical soundtrack.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

“Congratulations! You’ve just upgraded from ‘significant other’ to ‘better half’.” – Jerry Seinfeld

“Wishing you a marriage as perfect as your wedding photo filters.” – Mindy Kaling

“May your love be as endless as the group chat you’re now a part of.” – Aidy Bryant

“Mazel tov! May your future hold more happiness than your wedding budget.” – Melissa McCarthy

“Congrats on making it official! Now the hard part begins – remembering your anniversary.” – Chris Pratt

“Here’s to a marriage as flawless as your wedding day hair and makeup!” – Amy Poehler

Funny Wedding Wishes and Quotes

Funny Wedding Wishes 1

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin

“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is made of quicksand.” – Socrates

“A wedding is a party, not a performance.” – Anne Bancroft

“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henny Youngman

“Before you marry someone, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell

“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.” – Oscar Wilde

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Robert Quillen

“The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent, and it must be equal.” – Frank Pittman

“A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.” – Renee Cramer

“Being married is like having a best friend who you want to fight with all the time.” – William Shakespeare (probably)

“The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It’s a choice you make – not just on your wedding day, but over and over again – and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.” – Barbara de Angelis

“A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.” – Andre Maurois”The best thing about marriage is that it makes you deal with people you might not like.” – Ricky Gervais

“Marriage is like a long trip in a tiny rowboat: if one passenger starts rocking the boat, the other has to steady it.” – Kent Nerburn

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Recommended Wedding Gift Ideas

Alongside your funny wedding card, consider these personalized gift ideas to make the newlyweds smile:

  • Couple’s mugs with a silly inside joke
  • Custom t-shirts with a playful wedding hashtag
  • A quirky wedding guest book for gathering funny messages
  • A “Newly UnWed” game to test the couple’s knowledge of each other

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, Funny Wedding Wishes are a perfect way to bring laughter and joy to a couple’s special day. Adding humor to your message not only makes it memorable but also reflects the light-hearted spirit of the occasion. From playful advice to witty remarks, these wishes can create cherished moments that the couple will fondly remember.

Whether you’re sharing a card, a toast, or a note, ensure your words resonate with love and laughter. Use these funny and heartfelt wishes to celebrate love, commitment, and the joy of life together.

FAQs

What do you write in a wedding card comedy?

“Wishing you a lifetime of love, laughter, and not fighting over the remote!”

What do you write in a wedding card that’s not cheesy?

“Best wishes on this beautiful journey as you build your new life together.”

What do you say instead of congratulations for a wedding?

“Best wishes for a future filled with happiness and love!”

Is it appropriate to write funny messages in a wedding card for someone I don’t know very well?

It’s best to stick with more traditional, warm wishes if you’re not close to the couple. Save the humor for friends and family you know well enough to joke with.

Should I include both funny and sincere messages in my wedding card?

Yes! A mix of humor and heartfelt sentiment often works best – start with something funny to make them laugh, then end with a genuine wish for their happiness.

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